posting random thoughts to keep them from bouncing around in my head

i realized i was posting too much on the main whatever it's called here on neocities. i got a dopamine rush from getting likes! that is not at all, and maybe even antithetical to, why i signed up to build my own website in the first place. i'm glad i could recognize this before it got even more obnoxious.

a good replacement i've found for electronically-induced dopamine hits is $5 videogame "vampire survivors". i never got into the diablo franchise beyond the (unmatched) atmosphere of the first two games but i sort of get it now. not diablo itself. vampire survivors is my diablo. i get the dopamine hit

i got into Carti through Earfquake and was excited when people online were typing Whole Lotta Red had castlevania-style beats. it does not, unfortunately. it has video gamey, vampire-y beats but sounds nothing like the amazing arrangements of the castlevania soundtracks. i still love it, can't believe it's already been out for 4 years, the production is perfect and surprisingly consistent for a 24 track hip-hop album, and am excited for his next album (also new sky ferreira sometime, new fit for an autopsy very soon. it's always good to have something to look forward to).

not just weirdo mumble rap, i love so many disreputable genres. tacky dubstep, "trap" edm produced in whitey cul-de-sacs, lana del rey depending on who you're talking to, clear channel butt-grunge, focus-grouped emo and pop punk, nu-metal. shotout to tallah for being the best of the best of the current nu-metal revival. can't tell if their name is a reference to final fantasy IV or to the quaran. these newer groups seem to have "my own summer" and "dig" down, now i'm waiting for a revival group to release something more unique like "got the life" or "voodoo". here's hoping. also looking forward to the inevitable 2000s emo/metalcore revival.

lastly, a little bunny milestone. she witnessed two squirrels (grey squirrels, those cheeky monkeys) having some sort of dispute and instead of running away to one of her favorite hidey-holes, she bared down, puffed up, did her bunny scowl (so cute), and scared the squirrels away. i know rabbits don't have claws nearly as sharp as tree-climbing grey squirrels so it was fun to watch her use her natural defenses of mostly being large and spooky. i'm so attached even though i know i shouldn't be. it's probably time for me to finally get around reading watership down.

final thoughs: didn't expect this post to be about playboy and bunnies when i started typing. another thing to look forward to is the official castlevania dlc for vampire survivors releasing soon. can you imagine if nintendo instead of konami had the rights to castlevania? i shudder to think. i plan to watch "cradle of fear", the cradle of filth horror movie, and eat peanut butter cups tonight and then post a review (of the film, peanut butter cups are always two thumbs up from me). i wasn't onboard with cradle for years until i read the lyrics. they're every single gothic cliche you can think of plus a few you probably forgot. it's hard for me to dislike thier music for two reasons. first, it's extremely disreputable. second, frontman dani filth is quite clearly "living his best life" and having a great day every day being some sort of spooky man. it's honestly inspirational. he certainly doesn't care if a black metal purist doesn't care for his music. the fame and money seem like just a bonus to him, he just enjoys doing what he does.

book rec: Cabal by Clive Barker - novella length metaphor about a man realizing he is queer and finding his community. sure this means he is a monster and he finds a community of underground monsters (literally, not gaga fans) but any queer representation by queer artists in the 1980s is appreciated. the basis for his film "nightbreed" and the cradle of filth concept album "midian".

final final thought: don't buy books on amazon. they are able to sell for cheaper than cover price, the price determined by the publisher and printed in ink on the back cover, due to the money they make on web hosting. i'm sure i'm preaching to the choir here but indie bookstores don't set those prices. even better, support your local library! reading is fucking sexy