this blog post is rated R and contains fickle, arbitrary opinions. one specific spoiler for the end of the first terrifier movie, small generalized spoilers for: terrifier 1 & 2, saw 1 & 3, silent hill 2, resident evil 7, verotika, eli roth's thanksgiving, leatherface (2017), texas chainsaw massacre: the beginning, halloween (2018), maxxxine, a l'intérieur, funny games, phenomena (doot do, do-do-do), la mesita del comedor, drag me to hell, ash vs evil dead, abigail. i mention the atmosphere & tone of a few other horror movies and games but don't go into any sort of spoilers otherwise

stream-of-conciousness, more than a little pissy, edited only to the degree that i corrected all the times i typed "terrifyer". tldr: edgelords go home

i'm one of the "every day is halloween" types who watches a lot of horror movies and plays a lot of horror games. i've been "inspired" by a new terrifier sequel making the rounds as well as screenshots from the silent hill remake of a grown man yet again sticking his hand into a grody shitter. don't worry, there's also some positivity and movie recommendations at the end as well as an earnest compliment to the terrifier franchise. i love lists so expect those too.

ugliness and cruelty have a place in horror. of course they do. horror sets out to portray or reinterpret people's fears and anxieties, many of which involve ugliness, cruelty, etc. i think some horror media is much more successful in their portrayal of these things and the difference to me seems to be thoughtfulness & credit given to the audience. the two terrifier films i've watched, as well as many of the texas chainsaw massacre sequels, went for shock but failed due to their incessant, egregious stupidity. these movies were fucking dumb, y'all.

before i talk about these specific series i want to use saw 1 and 3 as an example of what i mean. i'm a fan of the first film and not the third one because of what i referred to as "thoughtfulness". saw from 2004 raises so many great questions, the only one with a definitive answer being "would audiences pay money to see a horror film that looks like an industrial metal music video?". questions like "how far would you go to survive? would you saw off your own leg? would you take the life of another? why would a horror villain make these "games" instead of outright killing their victims? would you play along or try to work together and escape?". saw 3 made me ask questions more like "why does this one feel so much more bleak and depressing than the first two? the circumstances of the ending are similar to the first two films, so why does this feel so much worse? doesn't removing the victims' chance to escape the games remove all suspense and tension, leaving nothing but ugliness and sadism? what exactly does the addition of sexualized violence against a woman and a gross-out setpiece contribute? why did i ever think the genre label "torture porn" was unfair and reductive?"

when terrifier 2 was released to much hype i decided to check the first movie out. i was treated to a scene, the central setpiece really, in which the villain rips someone's underwear off and then mutilates her genitals. what the fuck. here are the earnest compliments i promised: art the clown's design is fantastic and the david howard thornton may be the best physical comedian in the genre since bruce campbell. combined with the fact that i enjoyed the teenage sleepover b-movie atmosphere, i decided to give the second film a try to see what the filmmakers did with a larger budget intended for wider release.

the second movie is even more stupid, somehow. the big gory setpiece in that film, while thankfully not being overtly sexualized, is a protracted assault on a teenage girl on top of her bed. not only that, but the cruelty of that scene and its follow-up scene seemed, i don't know, juvenile? like, i have the feeling if i shared my thoughts with the writer the response would be along the lines of "some people just don't get my dark humor". it felt "transgressive" in the way that eminem is ostentatiously trangressive when he asserts he agrees with the republican right about women & queers but in an "ain't i a stinker?" manner.

to be fair, the terrifier films do go for a grand guignol kind of gore instead of realism. they do have a spirit of gruesome fun (said spirit is why i thought eli roth's hostel was more or less irredeemable but i gave "thanksgiving" a try based on its comedic take on the pop-psych slasher origin and was onboard by the dumpster scene, followed up by an old visual pun but a good one). i get that they were going for a sideshow-bob-steps-on-rakes style of humor for the bedroom scene. and i'm not assuming you're a sick puppy or an idiot if you like these films. but their aim seems to be button-pushing above all else, offense over suspense (i did have a laugh at the second film's expense during the dream sequence, where it seems like that had an intentionally offensive idea, chickened out because it goes too far, and then was left with a sequence that was entirely stupid, pointless, and really silly). which sucks because it's quite possible to do both.

a l'intérieur (inside) works as a piece that gleefully chews up and spits out any hopes you have the movie will have any modicum of tastefulness, sensitivity, or tact becauses it uses that "anything goes" mentality to keep you on your toes. like terrifier, it tries to top itself in its extravagant violence. unlike terrifier, there is tension and suspense between the moments of over-the-top violence. the violent scenes in a l'intérieur are perfectly ugly and cruel while being explosive rather than protracted. haute tension and frontier(s) i did not appreciate as much, or at all really other than a practical effect in the first film. a scene the aforementioned thanksgiving plays with your knowledge of the original trailer from grindhouse in a "will they really go that far?" kind of way. i thought it really worked! EDIT: another film in which most of the horror is someone being held captive and tortured but still has an undeniable sense of sick fun is the loved ones from '09

i saw maxxxine in theaters and one scene in particular had half the audience moaning and wailing as if they were an ancient greek chorus of tragedy, on the threshold of gnashing their teeth and rending their garments. the scene worked so well because of the minutes-long buildup the biggest difference seems to me to be "will this terrible thing happen?" vs "watch this terrible thing happen". but that's not a strict rule either. consider, if you're so inclined, the horror film la mesita del comedor (the coffee table).

i am going to try as hard as i fucking can to talk about this film without spoiling a single plot detail it because it's what you deserve. no other film i have ever seen in my life gave me such reactions emotional and physical. this film is billed as a black comedy sometimes, and there are certainly blackly comic moments, but it's really difficult to explain the tone if you haven't seen it. and admittedly, the literal translation of the title (the little dining table) is sort of sickly funny given the events. in interviews, the director has called la mesita del comedor a horror film and said he wanted to write a horror film without a monster, ghost, or even a villain. mission accomplished, and how.

to avoid plot details i'm going to talk about this movie in terms of my reaction to it. within the opening minutes, the camera focuses on certain things in a certain way that gives you a good idea of what may happen in the film. my reaction was to freak the fuck out, pause the movie, hyperventilate, decide i didn't have it in me today, decide that this film is most defintely NOT FOR EVERYBODY and if i was in similar circumstances to the characters or was close to someone with similar circumstances, i would not watch this film at all. but my interest was piqued. weeks later i decided to give it another go. the tension is excruciating. i paused about every 5 minutes to ask myself if i wanted to keep watching this movie. that "will this terrible thing happen?" style of suspense i'm so fond of? this movie keeps piling and piling it on until you are thoroughly horrified, disturbed, and exhausted. but i had to know what would happen next. like the original saw movie, you're asking yourself what you would do in this situation as you wonder what the characters will do next. then there was a dark joke. i had to pause the movie from laughing so hard, not necessairly because the joke was so funny, but because it was a massive release of tension. i thought i finally "got" the movie and was adapting to its wavelength. then in the next scene there was a revelation that made me pause again to hyperventilate and say things to myself like "oh god no oh jesus fuck no oh my god".

why i think the "dark comedy" isn't the movie's main tone is because there are lines that would be comedy but instead they are mounting tragedy due to the circumstances of the film i am trying so hard not to spoil. instead of these lines being a laugh and releasing tension, each thing said increases tension, providing immense horror to this horror film. it's like a sitcom episode from hell. the thing i think i liked most is that in someways this movie is the antithesis to funny games (a fascinating movie that i don't "agree with" at all but i think anyone really into horror films should watch. i've never seen a movie that so nakedly hated its presumed audience before or since). While funny games assumes you're a sick fuck who likes watching terrible things happen, la mesita del comedor assumes you're a human being with empathy and fears and a full spectrum of complex emotions. it certainly does not imply, as too many horror films seem to do, that you're intellectually or emotionally sub-average as a fan of the genre. on the contrary. it's one of the greatest horror films i have ever seen in my life, it is beyond the shadow of a doubt NOT FOR EVERYBODY, and i don't plan on ever watching it again. if you want to see a movie that's somewhat like if good time or uncut gems had a sympathetic protagonist and more realistic consequences, this film may be for you.

part two fluttering hearts and upset stomachs OR toilets are not scary

"i'm oily, greasy, grimy, gritty/trust please i'm gettin cheese if i'm in your city" - mac dre, what u got 4 me?

i hate to keep kicking a clown while he's down, but what was with the poop scene in terrifier 2? why do silent hill 2 and resident evil 7 have me reaching my hand into toilets? i hope this isn't a horror trope now. it's not even scary, just repulsive. it's not the kind of grossness that gets under the skin and creeps me out, it just makes me go "yuck" and move on. i was a direct care worker for years, dealing with veritable geysers of effluence and emesis on some days. at no point was it spooky. there are many people in that field and it certainly isn't the only dirty job in the world, so maybe you can relate to some degree.

here's another notion i had sparked this blog post: while psyching myself up to finish resident evil 7 (it's very scary!) i decided to watch all the texas chainsaw massacre movies, having only seen the first two (classics) and 2013's texas chainsaw (not a classic). leatherface (not tcm III, the 2017 film) was the worst in the franchise. maybe the worst film of any of the big slasher franchises! stretches of boredom punctuated by either thoughtless, "shocking" cruelty or absurd grossness for grossness' sake. dorff couldn't save this one. at least the grossness wasn't toilet based, just putrefaction based. again this bugs me because i know it can be done well.

phenomena has an amazingly, impressively gross scene that's also horrific in the moment and horrific in its implications. compare that to a similar scene from abigail which doesn't tell us anything we already know, feels tossed off and then promptly forgotten. take a look at the difference between the trailer scene in leatherface and the green slime in drag me to hell. one of these scenes has a better grasp of tone than the other, putting it lightly. drag me to hell knows the improbabilty is cartoonish and unrealistic and finds a way to goose your digestion in a way intended to make you laugh, not just feel unpleasant (on a similar note the morgue scene from ash vs evil dead had me laughing and retching at the same time. again, tone).

i believe the nastiness can work even better just implied. i'm sure the house in the original texas chainsaw massacre had an awful bathroom, but we didn't need to see it so i'm glad we didn't. in the game condemned: criminal origins, heavily influenced by the tone of saw, you know the piles are there in the game levels. you just know it. but the game doesn't need to show it at all. you don't even need anything outwardly gross for your movie to have a grimy, unsettling feeling. king of the ants benefits atmospherically from its cheap, shot-on-digital look in much the same way texas chainsaw massacre benefits from its grainy filminess. it makes the already awful characters look even more pissed off by the l.a. heat the way you can see their sweaty, sunburnt faces. the movie feels bad, bleak, and unsavory in a way i'd guess stuart gordon intended.

happy halloween, there's my rant about bodily fluids. just like with comedy, i believe that if horror's gonna be mean, it's gotta be smart.

speaking of, one last thing about terrifier. i loved the ending scene from the first movie in a way i'm sure i'm not supposed to. that coroner character who hates doing his job and hates cops? and works out of someone's laundry room? he deserves an entire prequel spinoff series, maybe as a crossover with the detective from the face collector segment of verotika. if you watch any one scene from any terrifier film, don't make it one of the kills, make it this one.

texas chainsaw massacre personal rankings

• 1. the texas chainsaw massacre (1974)
• 2. the texas chainsaw massacre part 2
• 3. the texas chainsaw massacre: the next generation
• 4. leatherface: the texas chainsaw massacre 3
• 5. the texas chainsaw massacre (2006)

i really don't think the rest are worth watching, most of all leatherface (2017) for all the aformentioned reasons plus he dropstarts his saw. tcm the beginning also gets points off for explicit sexual violence and bubba's mask looking more like pro wrestler mankind's

favorite horror games of all time, recently updated

• 1. silent hill
• 2. resident evil 7
• 3. phantasmagoria: a puzzle of flesh
• 4. silent hill 2
• 5. resident evil 4

if you've played all the castlevania and diablo games and still want more spooky action rpg, i cannot recommend indie game withering rooms enough.

PG/PG-13 horror recommendations for terrible/cool babysitters:

• dark night of the scarecrow
• drag me to hell
• the last exorcism
• night of the comet
• tourist trap
• underwater

if you want a golden oldie that's not as silly as the typical karloff/lugosi/price outing try cat people. that movie surprised me and may surprise you too. the remake is rated R but check out the bowie/moroder collaboration theme song.

the greatest T-rated horror game i've ever played is fatal frame, which will probably make my favorites list once i have the guts to finish it.

stay safe out there, have fun, and be sure to check your candy for chick tracts

13-10-2024